Have you ever noticed something in a relationship that didn't feel right? A remark, a look, a request you let slide at the time. Sometimes the signs are subtle. But they're there, and you can learn to see them.
What they are, really
Red flags are emotional, psychological or relationship warning signs that should never be ignored. On social media people talk about them almost as a joke. In real life there's nothing funny about them: they're the first clues of a relationship that takes space away instead of giving it.
They're not always obvious. Sometimes they're disguised as care, as “passionate love”, as “I just want to protect you”.
Some examples
- He asks where you are every hour and gets angry if you don't answer straight away.
- He gets annoyed when you go out with your friends.
- He checks your phone, or asks for your passwords.
- He comments on how you dress until you change.
- He makes you feel guilty for your freedom.
- He belittles you, interrupts you, makes fun of you in front of others.
If someone's behaviour takes away your freedom, your peace of mind or your self-confidence, it's a dangerous sign. Even if it comes with a smile.
A red flag spotted in time can spare you months, sometimes years, of suffering.
What now?
Recognising a sign doesn't mean you have to decide everything at once. It means you stop telling yourself you're overreacting. If something doesn't feel right, talk to someone you trust, or call 1522: it's free, anonymous and answers at any hour.
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